Blogging Wench

All I had to do was wish it to come and IT CAME! Early access into the Black Friday ad for Target!! Target is my favorite store to shop and Black Friday is no exception. They are opening at 6pm on Thanksgiving day. Target is my sister and my personal stomping ground on Black Friday. We make Target our bitch and we take names doing so. If you are shopping Target as your main destination, arrive at least 2 hours prior to opening. You won’t be first but you’ll be in the top 200 and still have time to down some turkey gravy. I wouldn’t go too hard because you can’t sleep it off. There is no napping in the car while the other person is in line. Line etiquette 101. Line jumpers will be fought. It happens every year. We bitch, scream and yell until they go in the back of the line. 5 minutes before the doors open, they will try to cut in line. We also love Target because they gave us maps while we were standing in line letting us know where the items were located. They also gave us a meal bar which tasted gross but was a nice gesture. Some items you can preshop the day before like clothing but the doorbusters won't be on the floor until the day of so don't go running back to bedding because the blankets could be in a bin in the shampoo isle. It's like I'm living my real life dream of being on the tv show Supermarket Sweep! I have highlighted a few of the big deals and doorbusters  below

Deals:
Doorbuster TVs (standard for Target)
$50 off select tablets
$72 Beats by Dre headphones
Apple – iphone and ipad purchases receive anywhere from $140-$30 giftcards with purchase
$249.99 go pro camera
Various games and gaming systems discounted
Various Toys and games 50% off
$4 DVD movies (standard every year)
40% off ALL mens, womens, kids and baby attire (this is HUGE. Target has never done this in my memory. Prepare to pick the shit you want off the floor)
$5 kids and adult jammies
Car seats and baby walkers/chairs/crap babies need discounted
$49.99 nonstick cookware set (standard every year)
$19 appliances
40% off other appliances
$27 Dyson Ball vacuum
50% off charcoal grill
$7.49 sheets
$9.99 and $19.99 blankets (standard every year)
$2 towels (standard every year and hilarious to shop for because my sister and I dive into the bins)
$30 outdoor firepits

Like other retailers, Target is expanding their sales into the weekend, with different offer. Saturday only get 40% off all Phillips string Christmas lights, buy 1 get 1 free wrapping paper. All in all, I would say Target is in it to win it this year. This ad solidified they will be our first stop of the Brown Thursday tour bus. From now until Thanksgiving my sister and I will plan our formation on how to launch each other into the bin of blankets, towels and sheets. It will likely end up being my sister making a step out of her hands and my stepping into it. She will then launch me over the crowd of people landing me directly into the bin. I will have already been assigned colors and sizes so when I find something, I will throw it out to her and we move on to the next one. If you’re new to Black Friday, leave this move to professionals. If you hit someone in the face, they will not be above knocking you out for a $2 towel. To peep the entire ad, click here friends. I'll be back when they release Walmart and Macys

Hi addicts! As promised, I am continuing my Black Friday madness with updates on ads. New ads have been released!! Side note:  it's not unusual for big retailers to start doing these 1 day events leading up to Black Friday. They want to capitalize on the revenue for more than just a day and I get it. On to the real deal. New ads released are Walgreens, Kohls, Petsmart, Sams, JC Penney, Kmart, Michaels, Sports Authority 

Walgreens.
Does anyone really Brown Thursday or Black Friday Walgreens? I never have but in case you have, here's your jam for the day...click HERE

Kohls. 
Kohl's Black Friday is what a lot of your dreams are made of. In my opinion, Kohls is worse than Walmart on this day because you have to contend with all of the mom's shopping for $2 jams for their kids and a $6 blanket. I'd much rather be with the ballers trying to haul ass on the electronics. I already got in a bitch fight with a 16 year old two years ago over some Victoria's Secret sweatpants and I'm not keen on reliving that situation again. To view the ad, click HERE

The deals to note: They are opening at 6PM on Thanksgiving Day. I predicted this early start time. It gets earlier and earlier every year. It's really not Black Friday anymore because we have been done shopping by midnight on Thanksgiving for the last 2 years but whatev. 
50% off all toys (enjoy that brawl. If I were you, I'd go the day before and hide what you want in the juniors clothing section)
Various deals on electronics
$25 mail in rebate on fitbits
Video gaming system and game deals
Usual jewelry sale (4 pages worth)
Kitchenaid Mixers (Only 10% off. Not worth standing in line if you ask me)
$99 Keurig ($50 off retail) this one is typical. Everyone will have this. I would hold out for a better deal)
$10 appliances (This one is actually great! They have a much larger variety than last year and better brands and some are $7.99)
60%-75% off luggage
20%-50% off vacuums 
60% off accent furniture 
Various Christmas decor sales
Various blanket, bedding and towel sales
Various cold weather clothing deals (no better than a regular sale if you ask me)
Various shoe deals (these are great prices but again, wouldn't stand in line. I would go for things online as they will be the same price or hit them on cyber monday)

All in all, Kohls had 40 pages of Black Friday deals. Nice spread. If you're trying to Christmas shop for your family, I would say this could be your one-stop-shop. Just know Kohls will be crazy and they have some of the worst check out lines I have ever seen. There are great deals and things I would want out of this display of merch but I will likely hit this on Cyber Monday. If it's your jam, get there about 2 hours early and have your store map ready with your game plan. Your key to getting in and out of this one will be how fast you can shop and get in line. Skip the cart, bring your own large tote bag. 

Petsmart, 
Stores open at 7am on Black Friday but there sales will start online on the 27th. The first 100 customers in the store will get a stocking filled with animal shit. Not do do...just cat and dog items. This is traditional Black Friday. A morning start time and a door giveaway is how it should be done. Petsmart always stays classy on this day and this year will be no different. 
50% off 100s of dog items including toys, food, treats, bedding, clothing, treats and cages
Discounted select cat foods, treats, play towers and litter boxes 
50% off fish tanks and accessories
50% off select animals


I will be hitting up this one for cat food. My little bundle of joy's food variety will be 25 cents off per can. HUGE savings!! This one is nice because by 7am Friday I will be done with the big dogs and off to the smaller, less intense stores. View the full ad HERE

Sams. 
Sams is opening at 7am on Black Friday but their deals will start online on Thanksgiving Day. 
$99 Keurig that brews up to a 4-cup carafe with a bonus of 42 K Cups (this is an awesome deal! If I didn't already have a Keurig, I would be in line for this one)
Various tv, gaming, phone, electronic, computer, camera, jewelry deals. This ad is a really random one so you better just take a look at it HERE

JC Penney.
They open at 5pm on Thanksgiving Day so I'm assuming that's when everyone in the mall will be opening. I believe they held out until 10:00 last year so this is a huge bump up in time. This ad is 72 pages, no bullshit so if you want to view it click HERE

Kmart.
Again, this on is 56 pages so you're on your own HERE

Michaels. 
Michaels has coupons for each day. Thursday 4pm -2am (earliest start time award goes to Michaels so far!) coupon valued at 30% off entire price purchase including sale items. Black Friday Coupon 7am-noon Same as Thursday. Black Friday Coupon noon-10pm 40% entire price purchase. Saturday 8am-noon 25% off entire price purchase. Sunday noon-10pm 50% off one regular priced item. So the time to hit Michaels is going to be on Black Friday noon-10pm. If there is something you really want, go to the store before noon and just hang out until that time hits. They have various Christmas decor and wrapping paper 50% off then you can get 40% off your entire purchase. This combo alone lets me know Michael's is going to be a frenzy. They have other things besides Christmas items so view the whole shebang HERE

Sports Authority.
They open Thursday at 6pm. Like last year, it looks like they are passing out cards to people in line to the first 80 people for money off their merchandise. Last year my friend actually got $100 off! They have $25 off coupons on the ad. First 50 people in line get a free cloth fold up chair. Their doorbuster are sports equipment, tennis shoes, exercise equipment, clothing for men and women. The best deal here in clothing is up to $70 off North Face. They have different deals running throughout the weekend so view it all HERE

I am still waiting on the heavy hitters Macys, Target and Walmart. I will post those as soon as I see them. My thoughts so far are that people are opening way too early on Thanksgiving. I at least get one meal with my family on that day since we eat earlier but if they keep opening like this, there won't be Thanksgiving for anyone. All stores should open at midnight on Black Friday the way they used to. I am still formulating my plan of attack and compiling the mall deals. Those are a little harder to find so I will do a new post with those when I am finished. If you want to know about a store and don't see it listed, comment below and I'll see what I can find. 

As many know, I am a Black Friday Wizard. If you didn’t know, brace yourself for my antics and click  HERE. I have been on a blog hiatus due to my overwhelming freelance work. I am a Graphic Designer and shit has been steady lately. I will never complain because it’s greasing my pocket for my favorite day of the year, BLACK FRIDDDAAAYYYYY!! (Sidenote: if you ever need any kind of invitation for baby showers, bridal showers, bach/bachelorette parties, sprinkles, birthdays, etc., announcements, Christmas Cards, flyer, logo, biz card, promotion of any kind, I am your gal! Click to head to my Etsy shop. If you don’t see what you need, I do custom orders all the time.)

Ok, now on to the good shit. Below are my Black Friday Survival Tips and how to plan your trip. I will be blogging all of the ads and documenting the best sales so check back. Everyone who knows me, knows Black Friday is my favorite day of the year and I start prepping for it in September. I found out I have a large following not located in the United States, so for you friends, Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving where retail stores run crazy sales and deals. It’s a frenzy to get the best savings. People stand in line for hours and fight each other for a $2 crock pot. I know that because I got one 2 years ago and it’s far better than my $50 one. On this day pregnant women, children, elderly…it doesn’t matter, everyone is fair game.

Your Game Plan.
In September I start working on my endurance and right hook. I need to be able to shop for 10+ hours, knock out bitches trying to buy the same pair of $5 sweatpants as me and do it in record time. My main tip is to pre-shop the stores before Black Friday and know where your items are located in each store. A lot of places in the mall will start their deals on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Express did this last year and saved us a trip to the mall. Last year Target handed out maps while we were in line to show you where the sale items were located in which isle of the store. This was key for my sister and me. We assigned each other designated items to get and when the door opened, we separated and took off running towards whatever we needed. Divide and conquer helped us get in and out of Target in 15 minutes with everything we needed. You also need to map out all of the stores you want to hit and what time they open. We planned it last year so we were in line by the time each of our stores opened and got every deal we wanted. We are professional bad asses and have been doing this for years so don’t expect to have that happen to you right off the bat if you’re new.

Lines.
Lines are a huge contender to Black Friday Shopping. If you’re standing in line for a store to open, shopping quickly is everything. If you can get your stuff and get in line to check out before the masses, you’re winning. We weren’t that smart the year before last and stood in line for over an hour to check out at Target. There were easily 200 people in line to purchase their items. You obviously can’t be everywhere when they open so if you get somewhere after opening, have your wingman (no one should ever Black Friday shop alone) get in line while you shop around. When you’re done, take their place while they go shop. My sister and I do this every year and it works every time.

Who to shop for.
Black Friday is not a time to dilly dally or try shit on. You need to know what you want, in what size and what color. My sister and I don’t shop for other people on Black Friday unless we know the exact item. When you shop for other people, it’s a lot of dicking around and him-hawing about ‘Will they wear this?’ ‘What size do you think they will need?’ ‘Don’t they already have that color or one of those?’ It’s a lot of nonsense that no one has time for.

Clothing. What to wear and how to avoid dressing rooms.
Black Friday is not the time for dressing rooms. You need to wear clothing that you can put pants on over if you really aren’t sure how it will fit. I opt for leggings, tank top with a long sleeve over it and a zip up with pockets. I never bring my coat in a mall-type situation. I sweat like a line backer and I don’t want to carry my mid-western Eskimo parka plus bags plus my snack plus my sodie. It’s imperative that you leave your purse at home. Few things bother me the way it does when someone knocks into my purse. But other than that, my purse weighs almost 15 pounds, yes I weighed it and it will slow me down. All you need is your driver’s license, credit card and cash. Put it in your zip pocket and you’re good. I always make sure my zip up has 2 pockets. 1 pocket is for the mentioned things above and the other for my snacks. Look, shopping, running and watching people be idiots makes me hungry and since all of the stores feel the need to open on Thanksgiving day, I usually eat my turkey on a sandwich while standing in line in 40 degree weather wondering why the joker behind me is in shorts. We addicts bond over Black Friday so you meet some really interesting characters who are equally bargain obsessed. This year’s zip up will be no joke since I need to carry all of those things plus my jumbo-fuckin iphone.

If you’re in a state with outlet malls, always check their deals! Last year was our first year for outlet malls as they were just built. Their website had the list of every store, a map and the sale they were having. Don’t wait until the day before Thanksgiving to scope everything out. You need to start at least a week beforehand. If you don’t know what a sale is going to be, call the store. I am not above going to a store the day before and hiding and item I want if I know it’s going to be on sale and go quickly. The majority of clothing stores run a 50% off sale on the entire store so those lines get ridiculous very quickly. If you need to cut a place out of your list because you have too much, I suggest clothing stores should go first. I say that because they will run the same deal online that day and likely have an even better deal on Cyber Monday. You can be standing in line a Walmart while you’re on your phone buying a sweater from J. Crew. There’s always a way and I find there are more online coupons than in-store coupons which doesn’t make a ton of sense to me but whatever. Online stores also carry different merchandise.

Ad Releases: Mall Stores
Now that I have you prepped, check back for the ad releases. Right now Express is the only major clothing store to release anything and they didn’t release their actual Black Friday deal or their opening time; just deals for the few days before and after. Their Black Friday deal has notoriously been 50% off the entire store so I would expect that again this year. If you want to see what they have before and after, you can find it HERE.  NY&C is running a sweepstakes for Black Friday with 1 grand prize winner receiving $100,000 if you’re into that kind of thing. I personally think it’s bull shit. There are other prizes as well so if you want to know more about it head HERE. 

Sears posted their ad break HERE. They don't have a free doorbuster but their doorbuster sales consist of appliances, shoes, a drill and clothing.

I’m not into toy books but if you are, everyone pretty much has theirs released and you can see them HERE. just browse over to the bottom left sidebar.

Alright ya'll. I know I have blogged about the wraps HERE and HERE and have talked about other products by a company called ItWorks. Joining this company has been the single best decision I have ever made. I have been told I'm changing people's lives and it has been the most rewarding job I have ever had. If you'd like to join my team, we are hauling balls, kicking ass, you get it, twe

I have clients using these wraps for several different things. Some people are trying to lose weight and are hitting a plateau and need a boost. Others are wanting to lose but need some motivation to get started. When they wrap, they see the results right away and it gives them the drive to hit the gym and watch their caloric intake to keep it off and get off even more. Others use the wraps to show off all of their hard work. Often times there are indeed abs under there, you just can't see them. The wraps put your 6pack on display. Suns out, guns out! They aren't just for women either, I have had A LOT of men emailing me about the wraps. 

Below I have listed a few of my favorite products and best sellers. Another best seller and personal favorite are the Hair, Skin, Nail Vitamins you can read about HERE If you have questions about any of them, by all means leave me a comment or you can contact me from the contact card and I'd love to help you. If you live in the St. Louis area and you want to see all of this shit for yourself, let me throw you a party! It's completely free, just invite your friends, provide the wine and learn about the products. There will be samples to taste, demos and the host will wrap FOR FREE! Contact me HERE and scroll to the bottom of the page. 

Alright ya’ll. I have found THE product. If you’ve been uninterested in anything else I have written about, this is the one to pay attention to and try. I say I’m obsessed with a lot of things but there aren’t words to describe my infatuation with this polish. I don’t wear acrylic nails because my real ones grow too fast. They are always long and strong (I could be a 13 year old boy about that comment but I will resist my urge…ok after that line I will resist). While my nails are long and strong (insert giggle, ok I’m really done), polish only lasts on them for 3-4 days before chipping. I am on a keyboard 50 hours a week so my polish is always prone to chipping.

I have always been an OPI and Essie girl. I rarely stray into other polish brands unless I go to the salon for a shellac mani. With that said, I have dabbled into the Red Carpet line of at-home shellac polish. You buy the base gel, color coat gel, top coat gel and light and you can do the same thing at home that they do in the salon. For those who don’t know what gel polish is, it’s just like regular nail polish but made of gel-like properties. Ok so I don’t know the science behind it but you put the shit on, hold it under a tanning bed lamp looking deal and it cures/hardens the polish in seconds. You don’t have to wait for your nails to dry, they are instantly dry, and it lasts at least 2 weeks on me without a chip. It would last even longer but I prefer to not have fingernails as weapons so I have to take it off and clip my daggers. The Red Carpet gel polish was great and lasted the same amount of time the salon gel does but it takes over an hour to apply, was expensive for a tiny ass bottle and is a pain in the ass to get off. You have to put your hand under the light after each application so 1 finger makes 4 passes under the light at about 2 minutes each time before it’s done.

My sister and I were extreme couponing the other week and we saw a coupon for the Sally Hansen Miracle Gel polish. It claimed to come off just like regular polish and you didn’t need a light to cure it. Of course we had to immediately run out and try it. There are coupons for $2 off a bottle right now on various websites so snag one and try this shit. A lot of gel polishes come in tiny ass bottles and you only get a few applications out of it and it’s expensive. This polish comes in a big ass bottle and it runs for about $9.99 at Walgreens. The website says you can also buy it at Walmar, ULTA, Target, CVS etc. With the $2 off coupon, that’s not a bad price for a bottle of gel polish. They also have duo packs that have the colored coat and gel top coat for only $14.99 which is an even better deal with the coupon.

The photo to the right is the first color I tried called Malibu Peach. It was the perfect coral shade, not too orange, not too pink and this is about 9 days after I applied. I worked all week, went fishing, swimming, boating etc. and only one nail started to ware in the corner. I was impressed. I wasn’t ready to give it my stamp of approval until I tested the removal process. With gel you have to soap your nails in acetone for about 10 minutes, scrape it off, soak again etc. Or you can put soaked cotton balls with acetone into a little strip of tin foil, attach it to the top of each nail, let it sit, scrape it, put back on, sit, scrape, you get the idea. This polish came right off just as promised. It actually came off easier than some OPI polishes I’ve tried.

The second color I tried is called Birthday Suit (pictured to the left). It was a perfect shade of nude. I’m always careful about nude polish because some shades just make my nails look dirty so I was a little weary but I LOVE it. This color took 3 coats, Malibu Peach only took 2. I don’t like my polish to be shear. If you do, you’d only need 2 coats of Birthday Suit. My statement nail is Hors D’oeurvres by Essie. 

If you try it out, let me know what you think. If you want more beauty tips, products or to witness my shit show of a life, follow me on twitter by clicking HERE.

Hey Jokers! I am working on a new post regarding at home gel polish that doesn't require a light, is much more adorable and isn't a bitch to take off so stay tuned for that riveting piece of journalism. 

In the meantime, I am having a joint ItWorks and ThirtyOne Party. Since 90% of you do not live in the same state or general vicinity of me, you can still order online if you'd like to take advantage of some discounts and deals. If you have children, they have some pretty adorable bags and lunch boxes. I rarely think anything to do with kids is adorable so that should tell you something. If you need to get organized, thirty one has just about everything you could possibly imagine. If you click on the link above or THIS ONE, you can shop my party now. You can click on the different bags you like and see color options. I currently have my eye on this tote so don't be a brat and buy them all before I get to buy mine. It's reversible and perfect for the amount of shit I carry around.

If you're interested in ItWorks products that I blog about all the time, you can order anything HERE but I suggest contacting me first so I can hook you up with 40-60% off retail. Don't pay full price when I can give you deals and free shit people. 

If you aren't sure what ItWorks is, here are a few of my favorite products. 

So, it's been no secret that I have been crushing on Coconut Oil in epic proportions. It's the best thing I've ever used for sun burns (aloe is a joke compared to coconut oil), makes my hair extremely soft and moisturized and keeps you away from the dentist (it's proved, I tested it then went to the dentist). 

For the last few months I have been solely using coconut oil as my moisturizer. I use it all over my body including my face. I exfoliated daily or every other day and apply coconut oil. My face has never looked this bright and clean. No breakouts, no discoloration and the best part...my sun spot is INVISIBLE after using coconut oil for a few months. It's less than $10 and all grocery and convenience stores are starting to carry it now. See ya later $80 night cream, it's been real but it's time to move on. 

In addition, my face routine consists of regular facials. I normally check Groupon or deal websites for ones that look good and make sure to always take care of my skin. Even with the deals, facials can still be extremely expensive and while you're there people try to get you to buy $50 creams and lotions you don't really need. I was talked into one last year and it didn't do dick for my skin. 

Now instead of wasting time scouring the internet for deals and being hassled while I'm there to buy products, I am going to use the ItWorks facial wraps. I can use them in the comfort of my own home while sitting on my ass eating Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Shortcake ice cream because I can't seem to put it down lately. Not only do I have all of those benefits but the wrap does more for me than the $120 facials I've been getting. 

The ItWorks Facial:
Tightens, tones and firms to give your face a lifted look
Soothes and smooths through continuous hydration
Wake up tired skin with a burst of refreshing botanical
Provides a brand new face a luminous, younger-looking you in just 45 minutes

It's made with all-natural ingredients so I don't have to worry about creepy chemicals or my face breaking out. You see celebrities on tv, movies, covers of magazines and everyone wonders how their skin look so flawless and that they must use a thousand dollars in creams and serums. Well guess what haters, Demi Moore actually uses the ItWorks facial wrap and she looks younger than me! Editorial Note: she's actually 30 years older than me. She is incredible! Her result is above but below are other ladies before/after photos of their application. If you want to try it, click here to contact me or you can go directly to my page here and I can hook you up with a 40-60% discount. My blog posse doesn't pay full price, please. 

Today I tried a new chunky Bohemian Braid that I’m kind of dying over. I love braids and was looking for some new ones. I found this one on Pinterest and gave it a whirl. If you don’t follow me on Pinterest, you should because I post way more shit on there. Find me HERE. I already knew before I started that it wasn’t going to look good because my hair isn’t as long as hers and it’s super fine and soft (thank you cocnut oil for the silky locks).

So I threw in a few tracks of weave for length, texture and thickness. If you already have textured or coarse hair, you shouldn’t have a problem. This braid is not silky-hair friendly. Doing it on dirty hair is better because clean hair is slick and will slide out of the braid. Clipping in some weave is also great if you have layers because it gives the braid something to hold on to if your shorter pieces fall out. The longer the day goes on, the more messy-chic it looked.

Remember when we were little and spent so much time making sure there weren’t ANY bumps in our pony and would slick it back with a black bristle brush and a shit ton of hairspray? Who would’ve thought we’d be spending hours strategically creating bumps and making it look messy-cute? 

As far as weave, I enjoy clip-ins so you don’t have to deal with the maintenance of tape or bead extensions and they don’t damage your hair. Or if you have OCD like I do and feel like you have to run your hands cleanly through your hair, this is a better option for you. Mine are Remy Human Hair in the longest length and I believe the color is blonde frost. You can put heat on them, cut them, dye them etc. and are anywhere between $80-$125. I believe shorter ones are less expensive. I just figured if I was going to buy them, I’d go balls out. They can be a little heavy and hot if you’re not used to long hair so I like the option of being able to take them out. You wash them and care for them just like your regular hair. I've had mine for almost a year and they still look just as great as the day I bought them. I have had my hair dyed several ways and several shades of blonde and these have always matched perfectly with whatever I had going on.

I started by applying my new FAVORITE dry shampoo. It’s called Blow Pro and it’s a white powder in a small blue bottle. I reached out to the ladies of the Elvis Duran Morning show and they ALL use this and raved about it so I had to try it. I’ve tried a ton of dry shampoos in my day and this one is by far the best I’ve ever had. I have blonde hair, my sister has really dark brown and we both use it. Besides the product being legit, the bottle really tickled my fancy. You shake it, turn the lid open and squeeze at the sides and it poofs out! I had no idea how to work it so I apologize to the works in the Ulta isle who had to clean up the white powder mountain I made. Using this product gives me the giggles. 

Anyway, I applied dry shampoo and teased the crown of my head for volume. I pulled up a section of hair towards the bottom, snapped in my weave and repeated this step once more only up a little higher. I only applied two tracks (or wefts as the snooty people call them). If you need more, throw on more. There are tutorials all over the Internet telling you how to apply them. I would tell you but I had blood drawn today to diagnose my typhoid and my arm hurts. Sue me. After all of my weave was attached, I pulled my bangs back into a bobby pin at the top of my head. I have long bangs but I knew they’d come out of the braid and I didn’t feel like dicking with that today. 

Next, I followed these steps I found on Pinterest with a little bit of modification. Gather all of your hair to the side you want your braid to run down and secure it with a clear elastic ponytail holder. Create an ‘O’ in your hair with your fingers.

Tie the remaining hair in a braid. Not all the way down, just a few passes. Fold it forward, up and through the hole.  Then pull down and through the O. Go back and piece it out or else it will make your hair want to flip back. Braiding it also helps if you have layers to keep it all together. Repeat.

After the second twist braid, take out the 2nd clear hair tie, then repeat the process all the way down.  If your hair is shorter or you have layers, just leave in the top hair tie. I liked the look without it and just used bobby pins to pin back strays that fell out or were too short. It made it more messy looking which I liked.

UPDATE: 
So I went to the dentist yesterday after coconut oil pulling for a few months and couldn’t wait to show off my progress. I was pumped to see if the hygienist noticed a difference since she cleans my teeth every 6 months. Sure as shit she said, “Holy crap, what the hell have you been doing to your teeth? There’s nothing on there for me to scrape off and dive into!” I told her what I had been doing and she couldn’t believe it. I was her first patient to pull oil and she was very impressed.

She barely had to do anything to my teeth during the cleaning. I was in and out of the chair in 20 minutes. I started a few months ago with the original post. I won’t lie; I slacked majorly. I went from a few times a week to only swishing once every week or every other week. I was just a lazy ass. I melt about a tablespoon in the microwave for a few seconds. It doesn’t need to go long because it has a low melting point. I throw it back and get in the shower. I swish while I’m doing my biz and spit it in the trashcan 20 minutes later. All of the details are in the previous posts. NEVER spit coconut oil down your drain. It hardens in your drain pipes and will cause a problem. You don’t have to melt the oil first but I promise you will gag if you don’t.

She also thought I whitened my teeth because they were about 4 shades whiter than last time I was in there. When my dentist came in, he couldn’t believe it and told me not to tell my friends because I would put him out of business. Oooops…I technically didn’t just tell my friends. I told the 400 people who read this blog everyday in 76 different countries.  

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I am obsessed with the Fabulist. It's a new show on E! with Kristin Cavallari and Orly Shani. They discuss the latest beauty and fashion trends and guinea pig themselves for reviews. Pretty much what I do but they are on tv, rich and far more amaze than I am. Plus Kristin C. is ALWAYS on point and is one of my style icons. 

They covered coconut oil pulling on Fabulist this week and Kristin's reaction/reflux is pretty much exactly how my first attempt went. You can read my diaries here on my experience. I only did it for about a week as I had to start talking myself into doing it each morning. (Sidenote* I am going to try to recreate Kristin's Punk Top Knot hairstyle in the below video for my next post)

I don't think it helped with my migraines like it claimed to but I also think I need to do it for more than a week. It DID whiten my teeth and pulled all of the junk off of them. You know how your teeth can sometimes feel like they are wearing a wool sweater by the end of the day? No? Just me? Assholes. Well this keeps that feeling away. It also removed some of the coffee/tea stains on my teeth that a toothbrush just can't seem to tackle. I did take before and after photos of my teeth but you couldn't see the difference in the photos as my teeth are generally pretty white. I think I felt the difference more than I really saw it. In conclusion, coconut oil is basically the holy grail right now in the beauty world and is said to do everything short of curing cancer. Give it a whirl, why the hell not.

If you're jumping on the oil pulling bandwagon and want to share your gems, please do so below in the comments. 

Hey fuckers! Over 100 people in California and 76 in Texas read the blog yesterday so shout out to the Golden Coast and Yee-haw mofos to the south! I'm not sure what sparkle got up your asses but welcome to the shit show. 

So I have been reviewing the ItWorks products on the blog lately. I started with the fat shrinking wraps, which you can read about HERE, and am moving right along to the Hair, Skin, Nails vitamins. The before/after photos on these babies are unreal. 

I have been trying to grow my mop out to Kardashian length for YEARS! I have that annoying ass baby fine hair that tangles if you turn your head too quickly so it always breaks off before getting to my ideal length. I also went through a phase of my hair falling out and, for some reason, the right side of my hair doesn't like to grow or it enjoys falling out more than the left. Proof of my ratchety hair to the left. It has terrific asshole potential. So I tried taking Biotin which didn't really do anything and a prescription prenatal. The prenatal did stop my hair from falling out and has made my hair thicker and stronger. Over the counter prenatals do nothing for me but the prescription one is awesome. 

Since I'm not planning on housing a fetus any time soon, I've been looking for an alternate that would work just as well, if not better. That's when I heard about the ItWorks Hair, Skin, Nail vitamins. I fully expected it to be just like the ones you buy over the counter, which do nothing in my opinion, but I then I started seeing all of the before/after photos. It looks like these people have at least 2 inches of growth in 2 weeks! It also works for men which I was surprised to see. Between the biotin and prescription prenatal, I was spending about $40 a month on shit to make my hair grow. These vitamins are only $33 so I ordered them immediately. They should arrive in the next day or 2. My sister already vowed to be my judge, jury and ruler of the measuring tape because she was floored by the before/afters. She will never let me give or take an inch so you can expect a very real report back on these vitamins. 

It would be awesome if someone else would try them with me so I can report other people's results to my own. If you want to try these with me, you can order them directly from me by leaving a comment or ordering straight through the website HERE. These have been flying off the shelves and are finally back in stock after selling out so many times. If you want to try them, go get them ASAP. I can't promise they will stick around for long. I can barely keep my pants on, I'm so excited for these vitamins. I got a fresh cut so I'm ready to go!!