I imagine this room with dim lighting, battery operated candle light, spa music in the background, maybe a rainforest track…I’m not sure why I feel rainforest background noise will make dropping a loaf easier and more enjoyable but this is my fantasy retreat. The seat will be cushioned and you can adjust the height of the toilet for long sessions so your legs don’t fall asleep. The john will talk to you. I think a greeting and a thank you would be nice. It would also automatically give you the correct sequence of flushes:
Pre-Flush – this occurs before any deposit is made to prep the bowl
Courtesy Flush – after touchdown, this flush removes the immediate stench so you’re not eating it during the duration of your stay
Mid Flush – to prevent clogs or situations that involved tools
Bulk Flush – this flush houses the majority of your TP use
End Flush – this is the last flush that is just a cleaning mechanism
It would be nice if this genie toilet washed and wiped but it’s not the year 2040, I get shit has to stay realistic. There would be an automatic sink and dryer that doesn’t make noise as well as an extensive reading library at my disposal.