It always baffles me as to why adults talk to their animals as if they are babies who don’t know where their paw is. You don’t have my nose bitch, I can see it sticking out of my face. When dogs don’t fetch shit, it’s not because they don’t understand you, it’s because in their head they are thinking, ‘How about I throw your Hot Pocket in the living room and scream at you until you fetch it, haus.’
Hoveround was the cat in this situation and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She was determined to force this dog to love her. Daddy issues. I don’t know about you, but when a dog growls at me like I would growl at someone trying to take the last cheese stick, that means to back the fuck off. The 80lb dog (who I have dubbed Teeny) just wanted to go about his day…take a nice dump in the lawn, make his owner who resembles Ken Jeong pick it up, eat a few Beggin’ strips followed by a nice nap.
A leaf flew by and caught my attention so I’m not sure how this riveting tale ended but I’m assuming her Hoveround morphed into a 12ft Transformer at which point Teeny turned into a wolf out of Twilight and they battled it out in the intersection. Of course Ken was riding jockey.